Archive | What the fuck!

Ah Ya Habileh!

Two days ago ago a man attempted to shoot some fire in the air during a wedding in Bteghrine but ended up critically injuring a photographer when he lost control over his gun. (Source)

What’s even worse is that the photographer was then rushed to the hospital but not admitted until three men attacked the ER staff which eventually led to the arrest of the groom!

Talk about a memorable wedding party…

On a side note I’m glad the security forces are finally putting efforts to arrest those gun freaks and I hope it isn’t just a temporary thing.

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Top Things to Do With Your Kid’s Brevet Certificate

Despite all the calls against firing guns in the air to celebrate the Brevet (grade 9) results today, a lot of people insisted on doing it their own way and fired off rounds into the air which unfortunately resulted in killing an 85 year old man after he was hit by a stray bullet in Baalbeck. At around 5PM I was also picking up my 3 months old baby from my parents’ house in Beirut and got outraged as I heard a bullet fall behind us on the sidewalk…

So, for all those people who felt euphoric for their kids getting this utterly stupid certificate, here are five ways you can put it to good use.

1. Paper cones

They’re cute and will add a nice touch to the party you will be throwing for your kid.

2. Paper planes

For those boring summer days.

3. Shawarma sandwich wraps

The right absorbent for those oily Shawarma sandwiches.

4. Paper mask

Something to match your silly face.

5. Shove it up your ass

Seriously, stop pretending like your kid actually accomplished something, and reflect about this while you slowly shove that certificate up your ass.

Kess ekhtak 3a ekht ebnak!

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Man Shot in Tripoli for Adding Another Man’s Wife on Facebook

Now that it’s almost taken for granted that road rage incidents get you killed on our very safe roads in Lebanon. Another thing you should probably beware of is adding people on Facebook!

This is actually the kind of things you expect to see on satire news websites but it really happened. A man in Tripoli was angered last night when his wife accepted a friend request from another man on Facebook, and since we’re all known for solving things in a civilized way, he simply went on to shoot that man in the thigh! (Source)

So yeah, be careful next time you add someone on Facebook…

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Wall Dabke is Now a Thing?

It started with this video from Australia spreading on Facebook and now people want to imitate it and some as going as far as using the ceiling to dance upside down.

We earlier had Tirashrash and Jenno Notto, please don’t make this trend!

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Driving In and Out of Beirut – Near Death Experiences Everyday

This video is ~7 minutes of pure horror to anybody into traffic management. A Lebanese YouTuber (Nash Suleiman) recorded his journey in and out of Beirut (from and to Choueifat as it shows) and documented the violations people and himself do everyday.

Just like everyone, I became accustomed to the chaotic driving in this country. But this video lets you observe things from a different perspective, and at one point as you watch you can’t but wonder how on earth do we reach our destination in one piece every time we get into a car… and this by the way made me think that this is one of the main reasons I am currently looking to move into an apartment within Beirut. I basically go daily through almost the same routes that show in the video and I am hating it by the day due to the recklessness of other drivers and the violations that I sometimes feel forced to make. I am sure those who commute to Beirut from other areas like the mountains or Jounieh and the areas beyond can also relate.

This video also incidentally proves that relying on the new traffic law alone to reduce road accidents is utter bullshit. As Nash mentioned at the end, safer roads is a responsibility that each and everyone of us has to bear.

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Menna W Jerr’s Nady Abou Chabke Does it Again!

If I were Nady Abou Chabke I would have apologized for copying Wissam Kamal’s joke 2 weeks ago and simply carried on with my upcoming episodes of Menna w Jerr. But for some reason he decided to make it worse and copied a whole segment from an Egyptian show this time!

Watch this video courtesy of Elie Iskandar and judge for yourself!

On a serious note, this is great material for Elie Sleiman to feature on his “Radar” segment on Menna W Jerr!

Update:

Nady appeared on April 10 episode of Menna w Jerr and apologized for his mistake.

3

Cat Kicker John Saad Gets a Dose of El 3ama!

You probably have all seen those aweful videos of a guy called John Saad kicking cats just for the fun of it. And it’s quite frustrating that there’s little to be done with such people in the absence of a law that ctiminalizes these acts.

But in the age of social media, viral videos naming and shaming such dumb fucks can sometimes do justice to the poor animals. Case in point, El 3ama’s comment about it!

Kicking a cat??? really??!!!

Hayda el video Fashit Khele2 la elna kelna.
#el3ama

Posted by El 3ama on Friday, March 17, 2017

Add to that Google’s power to quickly index webpages mentioning John Saad’s name, and BAM! you’re guaranteed visits from potential employer googling the name of John Saad (oops just mentioned it again) for background checking, only for them to find out that *wait for it* John Saad is a cat kicker! 😉

41

WTF Ad of The Day: Yeh! Frozen Yogurt

I have to admit, this is both genius and cringy at the same time! I’m guessing it started as an internal joke among their employees and somebody just decided to post it on their instagram! (they later removed it)

via Anis Tabet

Update:

And here’s another one they posted more than a year ago! (via Gino Raidy)

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Fishermen in Tripoli Caught Huge Inedible Sunfish and Sold it to The People!

Fishermen from Tripoli caught a huge Ocean Sunfish weighing more than 1000Kg this morning and people got outraged about it since it is a threatened specie of fish that feeds on jellyfish and poses absolutely no danger to divers.

In my humble opinion, I believe it is the authorities who should be blamed about such things because it seems like they allow anybody to go fish anything they encounter in the sea. It is true the Ocean Sunfish can be mistaken for a shark sometimes due to its dorsal fin, but fishermen should be educated enough about the species that should not be caught, and should also learn how to differentiate one from the other before given permission to work.

Aside from being endangered or not, fishermen should refrain from killing inedible species, and even if they did by mistake then they should get rid of it instead of selling it in the market, which unfortunately is not the case with this Sunfish! According to Wikipedia, it is not yet confirmed whether the Ocean Sunfish has some poisonous organs or not, so I wouldn’t take a chance trying to eat it. However, several photos on Facebook showed the fish being cut and sold at some fish market in Tripoli.

This is basically similar to witnessing a donkey or a sick cow being killed at the Karantina Slaughterhouse… I doubt such thing would go unnoticed and so should be trading this fish.

I just hope no one gets poisoned from consuming it, and I also the authorities invest a little more into educating the fishermen in order to prevent such incidents from occurring in the future.

Photos via Michel Bariche

Update:

As per the below memo, Governor of North Lebanon Judge Ramzi Nohra ordered the confiscation of this fish meat due to it being poisonous, in addition to ban killing such endangered species. Such memos and decisions are definitely better late than never!

via Animal Animals Lebanon FB Page.

1

OTV Prank Show Hits A New Low

haddeh-albak

Lebanese TV stations produce all sorts of bad shows, but OTV proved hands down that it can easily outperform all other channels!

I just learned today about their “Haddeh Albak” prank show featuring a psycho man who pulls the silliest jokes on people and tries to make it exciting by threatening their life in the process. In one of last month’s episodes he literally humiliated a poor Syrian guy by stopping him in the middle of a Kart circuit and stripping him to his underwear. He then put a flag in his boxer and made him run around aimlessly.

I can write on and on about how fucked up that prank was, but instead I will just point a simple fact to show what a failure OTV and that silly show are. The episode has been online on YouTube for around 1 month now (October 22nd), yet people didn’t react against it until yesterday, this goes to show how little viewership they have among other stations… Similar outrageous segments from other TVs usually become the talk of the town on the very next day, but this one had to wait a whole month for people to even notice it! If this is not a clear indicator of how pathetic their productions are, then I don’t know what is!

Anyway I hope their management realizes how wrong that prank was and cancels the show altogether.

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