Archive | What the fuck!

Uber and Careem No Longer Allowed to Pick Up Passengers from Beirut Airport

Several news websites reported last week that a new decision (number 1/247) was issued by the Minister of Transport that aims to organize the operation of Taxi cabs at the airport, an urged taxi drivers to abide with it as of the first of April. No details were provided about that decision and the ministry website didn’t have any information, so it all sounded vague.

A few days later I started hearing about people arriving to Beirut Airport not being able to meet their designated drivers at the exit and I just made sure yesterday it was because of that decision.

A friend of mine arrived last night and tried to use Careem, but a few minutes later the driver called and told him he can no longer go beyond the army check point (around 700m away from the airport entrance), and that he should meet him there to pick him up. With too much distance to walk, my friend decided to simply cancel the ride and book one of the official airport taxi cars, except that they told him it will cost “around $50” to drive him to Dekwane which is ridiculously exorbitant, so he just said thanks and called one of his relatives to come take him instead.

So whatever that decision states, it essentially no longer allows taxi river to pick up their arriving passengers from the parking lot as before in order to force people to use the official airport taxi drivers who are infamous for charging very high amount for a few kilometers rides. Therefore, in case you are arriving to Beirut anytime soon, make sure to arrange for a friend or relative to pick you up if you don’t want to bear unnecessary charges.

Keep in mind that our so called tourism season should start in a few weeks from now, and this decision is basically the best way to kick it off!

Update (April 5th 2019):

Private taxi companies can pick up passengers from the airport only if they apply for a special permit from the syndicate of Lebanese taxi drivers for every ride they want to make.

The permit should include the passengers name along with their flight details in order not to be used more than once.

Update 2 (April 5th 2019):

Minister of Transportation Youssef Fenianos just reversed his decision, so taxi drivers can pick up incoming passengers from the parking lot just like before.

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Dr. Inaya Ezzeddine, What Do You Know About Momo?

The internet was buzzing over the past week with articles about the “Momo” YouTube character that was enticing kids to hurt themselves, and threatening to kill them if they don’t comply. I personally was concerned about it since my 5 year old boy watches YouTube sometimes, but a few searches later on google I learned that it was a hoax, and in fact several articles were published on popular news outlets in the last two days to inform people about it.

However, just when everyone started to know that this whole “Momo challenge” thing is false, ex-minister Inaya Ezzeddine felt like pitching in by calling the ministers of Interior, Educations, and Telecommunications to take the necessary measures in order to ban the Momo “game” in Lebanon. Okay madam but what game do you exactly mean?

From a doctor turned minister, everyone would expect smarter statements. But just like a typical know-it-all Lebanese, she decided to contribute to the mass panic without even a minimum knowledge about the topic. And what’s with the fake belief in the power of censorship? An educated doctor in our age seriously believes you can actually ban things on the internet? How about simply providing some internet safety tips instead? Lebanese politicians are seriously so cringy that they make you feel uncomfortable even when they mean good!

Still, the worst is yet to come. Wait for Joe Maalouf and company on Monday night when they discuss the issue on their upcoming episodes!

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Chicken Hatchery Discovered at Electricité Du Liban 🤦🏻‍♂️

Last week was absolutely full of fucked up news. The cyber crime bureau has been randomly calling people in for investigation over opinions expressed on their social media accounts, Beirut Municipality is planning to go forward with deploying a waste incinerator somewhere around Karantine just like 1st world countries do, and political leaders are meanwhile busy sharing the cake fighting over the government seats.

However, one post on Facebook by journalist Rasha Abou Zaki almost overshadowed all other news (to me at least) as she unveiled a chicken hatchery inside the Electrecité Du Liban headquarters!

As Rasha stated, it is unbelievable how none of the responsibles at EDL knew about it or did anything to stop it, and I believe other governmental institutions are certainly not any better.

Given how chaotic things are in the country we used to always hear people comparing it to a farm, and this shows the government is actually living up to that reputation!

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Prime Minister Saad Hariri Greeted With Animals Painted in Blue!

I’m not sure where these photos were exactly taken, but they clearly show people painting camels and sheep in blue to greet Prime Minister Saad Hariri in their hometowns as he campaigns for his party ahead of the elections this weekend.

I totally understand people get over excited in some remote areas where politicians barely set a foot, but needless to say this is just too much…! I doubt people who come up with such ideas are mentally mature enough to choose their representatives in the parliament.

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Parliamentary Candidate to Extract Petrol from Bourj Hammoud Landfill

I was thinking some parties were making exaggerated promises to get people to vote until I heard what Sarkis Sarkis has in mind for the Bourj Hammoud Landfill, now I believe they’re quite modest and realistic. The man believes petroleum can be extracted from there.

As I read in the news, this is one of the candidates who are almost guaranteed to win the elections, so it will be quite interesting following him over the next 4 years given his obvious lack of brains and public speaking skills.

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Ponder Upon This

Switching to the newly rolled out license plates as the car owner did in the above picture requires passing the car inspection test at one of the mecanique centers. How on earth did this Renault 12 do it?!!

photo via Hamza Halabi

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Foreigner Tries Swimming in Beirut, Gets Covered With Shit (Literally)

This cool guy, Georgie Fechter, is Masters of Dirt’s organizer and thought it would be a good idea to go for a swim in Ramlet El Bayda along with his friends while they were here in Beirut during the “BEASTS” event.

In the video you see him walking with excitement all the way from Raouche to Ramlet El Bayda despite a knee injury, and gets all cheerful once he gets to the water. However, moments after he starts swimming, a friend tells him the water tastes awkward and the two get back to the shore only to discover dead fish and pieces of shit everywhere… From there onward their reaction is absolutely priceless! 😀

Start watching at the the 2m08s mark.

I always knew the sea is quite dirty in Ramlet El Bayda by the way but I never knew it was really THAT bad!

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Ah Ya Habileh!

Two days ago ago a man attempted to shoot some fire in the air during a wedding in Bteghrine but ended up critically injuring a photographer when he lost control over his gun. (Source)

What’s even worse is that the photographer was then rushed to the hospital but not admitted until three men attacked the ER staff which eventually led to the arrest of the groom!

Talk about a memorable wedding party…

On a side note I’m glad the security forces are finally putting efforts to arrest those gun freaks and I hope it isn’t just a temporary thing.

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Top Things to Do With Your Kid’s Brevet Certificate

Despite all the calls against firing guns in the air to celebrate the Brevet (grade 9) results today, a lot of people insisted on doing it their own way and fired off rounds into the air which unfortunately resulted in killing an 85 year old man after he was hit by a stray bullet in Baalbeck. At around 5PM I was also picking up my 3 months old baby from my parents’ house in Beirut and got outraged as I heard a bullet fall behind us on the sidewalk…

So, for all those people who felt euphoric for their kids getting this utterly stupid certificate, here are five ways you can put it to good use.

1. Paper cones

They’re cute and will add a nice touch to the party you will be throwing for your kid.

2. Paper planes

For those boring summer days.

3. Shawarma sandwich wraps

The right absorbent for those oily Shawarma sandwiches.

4. Paper mask

Something to match your silly face.

5. Shove it up your ass

Seriously, stop pretending like your kid actually accomplished something, and reflect about this while you slowly shove that certificate up your ass.

Kess ekhtak 3a ekht ebnak!

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Man Shot in Tripoli for Adding Another Man’s Wife on Facebook

Now that it’s almost taken for granted that road rage incidents get you killed on our very safe roads in Lebanon. Another thing you should probably beware of is adding people on Facebook!

This is actually the kind of things you expect to see on satire news websites but it really happened. A man in Tripoli was angered last night when his wife accepted a friend request from another man on Facebook, and since we’re all known for solving things in a civilized way, he simply went on to shoot that man in the thigh! (Source)

So yeah, be careful next time you add someone on Facebook…

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