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Lebanese drivers logic: What i decided to do about it!

A woman with a child on her bicycle navigates through Beijing traffic.

I’ll start off with a simple logical description of the issue on hand: On a single-lane road, two cars can pass faster when they are moving one after another. But when next to each other, one car has to slow down in order to let the other pass. In other words, lamma ykoun 3adad l siyarat yalle meshyin 7ad ba3d aktar mn 3adad l lanes, hol l siyarat bya3mlo 3aj2a la2an ma bise3o yo2ta3o 7ad ba3d w bisiro majbourin ykhaffefo ta ymar2o ba3d.
This effect, scaled up, creates irrelevant, unneeded, ugly traffic.

Supposing that what I am talking about can be grasped by small minded Lebanese drivers (which I doubt) who think they are always in a state of rush that allows them to just create lanes of their own, driving the wrong way or even where there is no ‘way’, I have come to a decision that I would like to share.

Paint balls!

Since I am daily witnessing the phenomena of  “I am in a rush, I drive my car where I please” and “matra7 ma bshouf zefet bemshe. w aslan ma droure ykoun fi zefet” I have decided to purchase a stock of paint balls and a paint ball gun. Why? you may ask. I shall salute each driver driving the wrong way with a colorful paint ball to cheer up his day w ta fesh khel2e as well. So in case you come across some news report in the near future speaking of a trend of colorful cars on the Lebanese roads, you can safely assume that I had some part in setting that trend.

And oh, since its Christmas time, I will start with a stock of green and red paint balls :)

image via mumatlarge.blogspot.com

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Latest trend: Trashbag skirts!

VeroModa Skirt

Well it seems like the latest trend at Vero Moda is trashbag skirts! I wonder if anyone would actually buy this.

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Gebran Bassil busted in New York

Men will always be men, but that’s definitely not valid when you’re representing Lebanon at the United Nations in New York and meeting with the Emirati minister of foreign affairs!

This video below shows Gibran Bassil asking one of his assistants about some woman called “Caroline”, then when the Emirati minister seemed surprised about his question, he responds with a hand gesture that he was asking because she’s so hot and wishes she was present with them in the meeting!

Quite embarrassing I say!

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Sorry, but we like to rip you off!

psn plus961

If you are a gamer like me, you might have noticed a not so subtle increase in the price of PSN (PlayStation Network) cards. These were previously priced at 22$ for the 20$ card and 55$ for the 50$ card. Currently the latter is selling for a whooping 65$. So you can forget about the digital purchase of games since the amount you’ll be saving on the game’s price you’ll be paying on the price of the PSN card.

If you know the reason for this increase kindly share in the comment section!

P.S: the prices mentioned above are from Virgin Megastore.

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Mkalles roundabout is still a roundabout

Mkallis

The works at Mkalles roundabout were recently concluded and the bridge as well as the tunnel have been open for a while now. However a few crucial points puzzle me:

  • The roundabout is still a roundabout.
  • Let’s say you are coming towards Mkalles from Jisr el Basha and you need to make a u-turn to go back, you  actually must drive through the whole roundabout and get stuck in the traffic that’s going towards Mansourieh, Dekwene, Hayek and Habtoor. This fact also applies whether you are coming from Dekwene, Mansourieh, Hayek, or Habtoor.
  • Most people that drive down daily towards Beirut, from Mansourieh, Daychounieh, Ain Saade and the surrounding Matn areas were waiting for the works at Mkalles to finish hoping the roundabout will no longer be the bottleneck it once was. Sadly though, this is not the case since these people are not even being able to easily reach the infamous roundabout in the first place. The thing is, the actual bottleneck is at the SKAFF gallery turn (a.k.a mafra2 l OTV) where the incoming traffic specially during rush hours is barely if any organized.

The situation is only going to become worse with the school season just starting and the rain we all love soon pouring on our well paved roads.

I understand that traffic jams are common, specially in our country, but a 3 long years multi-million dollar project should have provided the needed solution in an area where traffic is a major issue.

photo via http://throughatoonerdarkly.wordpress.com/

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Just how sick can people get?!

I assume the older kid was already bullying little Abbas before these sick parents decided to teach him how to really beat people up!

Thanks @TrellaLB

Update:

The internal security forces have identified the people behind this video and arrested them tonight at El Ramel El Ali.

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The lamest restaurant menu you will ever see

I came across this delivery menu of some fast food joint in Sin El Fil and went totally like WTF!!

Why are they showing a cleavage instead of the food they make? And what’s up with that salad that looks more like a vagina?!

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Fail – Khoury Home billboard for Valentine

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via From Beirut with Funk

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Sex sells. But here’s how not to do it!

Sex sells, it’s undisputed, it can even get you tons of traffic sometimes. But the way Lebanese-forces.com did it today on Facebook is definitely just plain stupid.

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Is that a screenshot from some porn movie or what?!

via @ghazayel

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May Hariri speaks engrish

This is just too good not to share! The video is from an old interview with May Hariri back in 2005 when she was invited by the Lebanese “imbecile” in Pakistan to perform there.

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